Swedes agree to change partners in marriage, while Bosnians lead double lives

Freud was indeed right. Sex is the root of everything. Many things are done in bed, and certainly filmed. Filming naked bottoms has become a trend here too, and everyone who thinks they are talented, either with a siphon or a club, stands in front of that camera and shakes and shakes, it all fits them. So, one of our guys who got stuck in Sweden...., that's how my "Mahaluša" opens on its tour of Sweden, a country – as we were taught – sexually aware where you can be with whomever you want, for as long as you want and as much as you want.

That's the kind of information we received from above. From the north. From our people who had contact with the Swedish system. Among friends, these light porn films were called Swedish-Danish action movies, while the first cold porn actresses who elevated this profession to a high level of the porn industry came from this freedom-loving country.

Do you remember "Deep Throat"?! Do you remember the songs about Frida, who was the queen of Davor Gopac's hot dreams? Do you remember the stories about the Vikings? Their great sexual power, but also the freedom their women had. If Hogar the Terrible moved away from his Helga, she would go looking for him. And if he didn't return for too long, nothing prevented her from finding a new provider, surrendering to him, and him taking care of her and his children as his own. If Hogar returned in the meantime, he could easily have sex.

So, there was some code of conduct for protection at work. If a warrior, seafarer, head of the household did not return home within a period determined by the woman herself, she could safely say goodbye to her family. And go in search of another, which would be very difficult. Because the first wife, if she wanted to, could demand that he always support her. All according to some unwritten Nordic rule.

It was a society of strong women. Helga was Terrible, what about Hogar! Hogar is usually a loser in the comic strip, and "Hogars" were, as the greatest Swedish pop band of all time sang, "quick (k)ites" - they just quickly and briefly had sex and had to fly off to battle, to sail, to plunder... The frivolous would say, then as now.

There is little truth and much fate in this.

Because, even today, women in Sweden are respected. Their independence and self-reliance are supported. Men and women know their place, and that's that.

-I will not do to you what I do not want you to do to me.

That is the motto in love. So, where is the promiscuity, vice, and perversion we heard so much about?!

Where does this modesty and morality come from? Didn't the Swedes promote swinging? Don't they practice sex on the rocks or one-night stands?! And why did the cheerful Bosnian from the beginning of my story have to resort to free love to be accepted in Swedish society if everything is in order from that point of view?

Swedes and Swedish women are people of their word. They agree on everything nicely. Nothing happens behind their backs. Like here. They are the same in words as in deeds. They like to have a clear conscience.

If they live with someone and in the meantime they like someone else, they first tell their partner and end the relationship, and then they embark on a new love adventure. There is little infidelity. They don't like sitting on two chairs. They are not tricksters. There are no tricks like ours.

Their great film director Ingmar Bergman is a clear example. The man had five serious relationships and married five times. First, he tells his wife that he likes someone else, then he divorces the first to marry the second, who will remain the second because then comes the third. And so it goes. A typical Swede cannot look his life partner in the face like a typical Bosnian and lie to him that he loves him more than himself and more than anyone ever. That love math doesn't work for them.

And if they want to go on a joint excursion and break the boredom because everything is allowed up there due to the bad climate and eternal twilight, then the man and woman agree on the rules for changing partners. And then it's not cheating, but a human agreement. It has remained from Hogar's time.

While here, everyone is honest and decent. Here, children are born without sex. And prostitutes are saints. While our males are so very monogamous. A rare species. Anyone who says otherwise is slandering and lying.

Our women know they are being cheated on and remain silent, and men know they are being cheated on, mostly with women who think all women are whores except his mother and wife – and that's the one who didn't respond to her husband's infidelity with infidelity.

And who is crazy here?

Who leads a double life? And who cheats the most in Sweden? According to my knowledge, it's not the Swedes. It's us. Wherever we live. A thousand for others, not one for ourselves.

And if the Swedes are "quick-kites", ours are "everyone's-kites". And what belongs to everyone has always belonged to no one.

ASK MAHALUŠA

Dear readers, for all of you who have questions about male-female relationships and are in doubt, and for all of you who expect witty answers on this topic, you can write to our email address [email protected]. Answers will be given, as always, by your number one Mahaluša, Indira Kučuk Sorguč, who is always ready to write about topics that others still consider taboo.