Character or Not?

By: Isa Pašalić, psychologist

For centuries, the rule has been to observe a person through their character. This idea exists because the only sure starting point in our classification of people is their individuality. Therefore, our dedication to this important human determinant has given rise to the question of what character is and how it is formed.

The commonly accepted view is that character is something we are born with, which, as such, does not change over time but remains the same as when we came into this world. This understanding of human nature, while not without basis, needs to be examined in more detail. In this way of thinking, character is seen as a solid object that cannot be changed, and any effort on our part to change or direct it inevitably leads to breaking (i.e., fragmentation). Some views, which perceive character as a rigid mass that fragments with every change, go so far as to consider upbringing and education traumatic because of the attempt to direct and change the child in this way. We cannot reconcile such an understanding of human nature with the natural social imperative that humans change and develop under the influence of those around them and society as a whole.

With this in mind, I propose a new perspective and understanding of what human character is. Let's explore the possibility of viewing human character as energy, which a person receives as a gift with its intensity and color, and it is precisely this determinant that represents the core of a person. When we see human character in this way, then upbringing actually represents a kind of direction of this energy through the linear movement of time.

We will represent this energy as a river. Every river has its mechanical energy, which is constant. Mechanical energy represents the sum of the potential and kinetic energy of our river. A river with a wide bed, without boundaries, has high potential energy and low kinetic energy. Our eye perceives such a river as sluggish and slow. However, if we had the ability to significantly narrow the bed (i.e., boundaries) of the same river, the potential energy would turn into kinetic energy, and we would perceive such a river as extremely fast and intense. By this narrowing, we have not accelerated the river; its actual mechanical energy has not changed, but we have enabled potential energy to convert into kinetic energy, thereby significantly increasing the intensity and our perception of the river's intensity.

Through this example, the energy of human character is represented by the mechanical energy of the river, and it is constant. This character is shaped by the environment in which we live. If we do not have clearly defined boundaries that guide us, the character's energy, like that of a river, overflows into the surroundings and does not flow straight with the full intensity and energy it could. Our character has not lost its mechanical energy through this overflow, but all of its potential remains unused. Therefore, good upbringing and education, even when not entirely pleasant at first glance, represent the narrowing of this riverbed, which aims to direct the character's potential forward and guide it in the direction where it can shine brightest with its intensity.

On the other hand, there is indeed a problem of traumatization in upbringing and education. There are two reasons why this traumatization occurs. The first is the need to completely change the character of this person, which would represent the other party's desire to alter the color and energy of the person's character. The second reason is excessively intense upbringing, where the person is unable to acclimatize to new or extremely harsh boundaries and thus truly direct themselves in one direction. In the most serious cases, a combination of these two approaches occurs; both approaches lead to the fragmentation of character or personality, which is one of the clear markers of trauma.

We mentioned that every river has its unchanging mechanical energy; however, another thing every river has is a tendency to flow in one direction; it is oriented towards a certain cardinal direction, and such a state is also unchangeable. In the example of the riverbed and boundaries, we strive to increase the utilization of potential energy and the shape of the river's flow, but in no case do we deceive ourselves into thinking we can change its direction. Any attempt to change the direction of this river leads to the creation of tributaries, and the realization that we are unable to change the direction and the side on which this river flows. However, our attempt to change this direction inevitably leads to the creation of river tributaries, with each tributary beginning to flow in its own separate bed. When we sum up all these tributaries, the mechanical energy of our river remains the same, as does its direction, but now we have a fragmented river where each tributary pulls a part of this mechanical energy with it, diminishing the river's ability to reach its full intensity. Also, any sudden attempt to establish riverbeds or boundaries without considering the river's actual capacity for shape change also leads to the creation of tributaries that fragment our river. Such attempts to create riverbeds do not establish boundaries within which our river can flow but create barriers around which the river begins to decompose into parts.

Human character behaves like this river. If the fact that every person has their innate orientation is not accepted, or if that natural orientation is not understood, then the people who educate and raise, and who have such a perception of character, are capable of causing fragmentation of this character energy in the person they are trying to raise and educate. Such an approach causes great resistance in the person being influenced, as the change being attempted is in no way consistent with the natural inclination the person harbors. On the other hand, an educational method that is not adapted to the dynamics of our character development contributes to fragmentation, just as a barrier within a river leads to the separation of river tributaries, thus taking away the key energy that can be used for further development.

The goal of psychotherapy, in working with trauma, is to heal a person. Healing is bringing a person to a state of completeness through the unification of fragments created by trauma. Using the river example, healing is the rejoining of river tributaries into one river so that the river's energy can be directed in the right direction. This healing of human fragments actually enables the true utilization of the character potential that every person possesses.

In our desire to educate and raise people, it is imperative that we know how to recognize the color, energy, and orientation of human character; because such knowledge allows us to avoid unintentionally fragmenting and traumatizing a person, but more importantly, it enables us to utilize the potential energy that person carries within them.

We mentioned that upbringing is not necessarily the most pleasant process, however, upbringing is necessary for prosperity and general functioning in the world. This discomfort is what tempers us, strengthens us, and activates the potential we carry within us.

Upbringing is not necessarily an external stimulus either. A person is capable of raising themselves, and this is achieved through discipline. Through discipline, we build our own riverbed, or boundaries within which we allow ourselves to move and exist; this allows us to focus on what is important without wasting the energy given to us.

Discipline thus becomes the most valuable task a person should fulfill during their life, because without discipline, a person is unable to engage their full potential, thereby condemning themselves to an unfulfilled life.

A river without a bed leaves its strength at its very source, leaving no room for itself to reach its destination with full intensity.

The measure of our humanity is our ability to maintain ourselves within our riverbed, firmly defending our dignity and energy as a legacy to influence our surroundings and pass on the same firmness and boundaries to the generations to come.